


Cordelia Chase: Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

by ocean_of_notions, radio_silent



Series: The Very Secret Diaries...on the Hellmouth! [6]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Angel Is Still Writing A Soap Opera, Crack, Diary/Journal, Humor, Multi, Season/Series 03, Very Secret Diary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-01
Updated: 2008-06-01
Packaged: 2017-11-09 01:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/449790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ocean_of_notions/pseuds/ocean_of_notions, https://archiveofourown.org/users/radio_silent/pseuds/radio_silent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Double date with Wesley, and Willow and Oz v. boring, as Wesley kept insisting on research. To save Sunnydale or whatever."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cordelia Chase: Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

Day One  
Spent last night and night before fighting vampires with Xander and the other losers. But it's for Buffy's sake. Has nothing to do with Xander. Or losers.

Day Two  
Party at Buffy's sucked, even though I was there AND brought dip. Buffy's just friends with all the walking dead, isn't she?

Day Three  
Xander's a little too obsessed with this new slayer-person. And alligators. I could so do that.

Day Four  
First I have to look at gross dead people in the morgue, then whatshisface kills his loser girlfriend and I get stuck with serious thoughts all day. The world is just conspiring to give me wrinkle lines.

Day Five  
Buffy's fighting me for homecoming queen to clear up her personal childhood abandonment and self-esteem issues. She is so going to need therapy when she loses.

Day Six  
My parents were FREAKS when they were teenagers. Seriously. Do not try to be cool if you're going to fail so miserably. My mother plus lycra is proof that there are just some things that should not be seen.

Day Seven  
Helped stage an intervention to cure Buffy of Angel-obsession. Though if she had any intelligence of her own she'd be over that bipolar threat to her friends' (aka MY) lives on her own. Doesn't she realize her car is in danger?

Maybe if she had a car she'd have some perspective on the situation.

Day Eight  
Caught Willow and Xander making out in warehouse. We never made out in a warehouse!

Day Nine  
Met demon chick with surprisingly good taste in clothes, even if she is in SERIOUS need of moisturizer. Like she hasn't touched skin care in a millennium. DID help me curse Xander for warehouse thing, though, so she's not too bad.

(later)

Second thought, cursing Xander perhaps not best idea. Lost my car, and everyone dresses like the dead here.

Day Ten  
Going to Aspen! V. nice to get away from all things life-threatening and Xander.

Day Eleven  
Giles doesn't respect the importance of my hair. He is SO brain damaged.

Day Twelve  
So Buffy lost her memory, and I thought letting her ride in my car would make her feel better but she just sat there moping like a loser and ruining her make-up. Lame.

Day Thirteen  
Caught Xander trying to be cool again. You'd think he would learn that attempting that impossibility only leads to danger (but not the sexy kind), girls dumping him, and getting dissed by everyone imaginable. I guess not.

...or maybe he LIKES disaster. Would explain why he hangs out with Buffy and co.

Day Fourteen  
Caught Buffy trying to be "cool", with, like, pleather and stuff. Please. As if we don't already know she's way too goody-goody-on-the-side-of-the-scorned-and-righteous to last long. Plus pleather is bad for her complexion. She's a summer, Faith's a winter...it'll never work out.

Day Fifteen  
Buffy's new Watcher SO much cooler than Giles. I like a man who's stunned speechless by my presence. (Which is pretty much all of them, actually.)

Day Sixteen  
Today Wesley protected me from a seriously fashion-challenged Willow. I knew it was a fluke with Giles--British people do have fashion sense. Think I'll ask him out.

Day Seventeen  
Double date with Wesley, and Willow and Oz v. boring, as Wesley kept insisting on research. To save Sunnydale or whatever. Beginning to suspect he has intimacy issues...or maybe just too intimidated by my extreme beauty to make a move...

Day Eighteen  
Buffy thinks she's psychic. I don't get what the big deal is, except her possible psychosis. People are paying far too much attention to her and not enough attention to the cheerleaders. Who rock, by the way.

Day Nineteen  
So that minor problem Daddy's been struggling with is apparently all of our money. Imagine money being a problem! V. odd.

(later)

My parents expect me to work retail. It's officially the end of the world.

Day Twenty  
Some loser made monsters that kill the fashionable. World is conspiring against me.

(later)

Buffy killed monsters, though not loser. Thank goodness, because I am officially most beautiful person at prom, and would not like to be attacked. In other news, Wesley officially has good taste, and Xander is perhaps not lamest person ever.

Day Twenty-One

Up side to apocalypse? Skipping 5th period.

Day Twenty-Two

Another bonus: got to take off that lame gown. Maroon? What idiot thought of that?

(later)

Nevermind. Practically trampled by vamps... apocalypses suck.

Day Twenty-Three

Angel wants me to come to LA with him. Says I'd make a great Delilah, whatever that means. Since I have been denied rich, preppy Columbia boys, might as well turn to hot, broody men. Even if said men are vampires. (Besides, LA's got shoes. So many shoes.)

Things not looking so bad after all.  



End file.
